things ain’t normal

The thing which hurts the most at this time is how coco v has ruined everything. I am suffering through a stage, where I consider all online platforms to be one of my worst enemies(except for WordPress) but I can’t get rid of them. All the online classes/ revisions are conducted there, so even when I really desire to deactivate everything, I can’t.

Although, at first I felt 2020 to be the most ‘learning year’ for me, it looks like that 2021, will defo leave me with all the life lessons. The first three months of this year has taught me more than the entire 2020.

Most importantly, I learnt about constantly dealing with all the struggles. I know, I used to always remind myself about how ‘human beings are meant to be survivors’, but sometimes, stress could overburden you to that extent where you feel like giving up. Where you feel like, that you are not striving for the real purpose. Where you feel like, that you have alienated yourself. There were days where I felt like, I will tackle most of the things, though my perception about things kept on changing everyday, Sometimes, I considered myself to be happy with people, other times, I felt lonely and depressed.

Problems need not be measured, I think , that the most depressing thing about our society is how people consider these ‘teenage problems’ as some kind of fakery. They don’t believe in prioritising mental health,

It is difficult, to shut down all the account, because unfortunately covid has forced us to rely on all of this, Though, one thing I learnt for sure, was that even when you know that there are people who love you/ will always be there for you, but at that time, their constant support to deal with your problems feels like ‘toxic positivity’ . It feels like, that they are just ‘simply meaningless words’.

and all you want is, to alienate yourself and to feel that you no longer belong with these people.

saw the post of some of the a-level students campaigning for ‘No CAIES’ , felt like all of their reasons were legitimate enough to be taken into concern, though but sadly most people don’t know what students are going thru in this heart-rending times.

came across a video, and saw a comment, wanted to share with you all too.

2 Comments Add yours

  1. aqua says:

    I am sorry for how you feel and for what you are going through. I understand your struggle. I understand your stress, and your sadness. And it also helps me understand your strength too. You are strong for you voice your concerns and face your fears head on, even when the times are at their worst.
    This reminds me how in 2019 a girl in my class lost her father. This was a couple months before we had to appear for our CIEs. There was nothing we could do for her except to console her with words. Helplessness is a cursed feeling.
    People may regard her situation as a ‘personal’ problem. She couldn’t give her exams that year. The rest of us did. Life moved on. No one stopped for her. No one took responsibility to accommodate for how she felt or what she went through in that time. She appeared for the exams a year later lekin and successfully made it to her desired school mA.

    Life wasn’t easier before, but it is harder now. If people had ‘personal’, ‘mental’, or ‘teenage’ problems before, there are more now. People label problems as ‘personal’ just to justify not being considerate towards them. ‘Personal’ means that it involves your family and friends, but it never meant that schools and offices and organizations shouldn’t recognize it. If anything, coco has revealed the uglier side of things.

    The lack of empathy is severe. Moving on is important, but so is to accommodate those who suffer. There are factors involving scalability and time, but all of those can be taken into account and a better solution can be devised. The authorities aren’t willing to. They call it a hustle and that we need to keep up, but why are we thinking of this as some stupid race to begin with? None of this needs to be a race. As someone I know once casually taught me, there are better ways to live your life than to keep worrying about missing on a train that doesn’t even exist.

    I am hopeful though. People may label you today as too sensitive or too soft, but this shows that our generation cares. We will be sensitive and fix a lot of these problems. Helplessness is a cursed feeling. But we won’t always stay helpless. There will come a time where we will be able to do better to help.

    (also, I am sorry if my words ever come across as meaningless or ‘toxic positivity’. Words may seem insufficient, but sometimes they are all that we have.)

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I hear u says:

    I feel sorry for you.

    Liked by 1 person

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