Will this always be a rhetorical question?

It is simple. I can’t find answers to the most important questions of my life. I just can’t know about them but only time will reveal those answers. Yesterday, it took me a moment  to realise how qismat (destiny) has lead me to this stage. I don’t know where life will take me next because even when I plan for it, I know that if life wants me to be somewhere else, it will do it without any hustle. Days are passing by, and soon O level will be over. I do have goals but the thing is no matter how hard I try, I still think that I am lacking somewhere or I won’t be able to do it. I had never been confident about myself. I mean back when I was this baby, things were probably very simple, you are not judged by anyone and nor you care about anyone. I had always preferred to live in my own world and had a small group of friends but I knew this for a fact that when I will be in O level, it will all be different. I mean I thought that I will be friends with like 𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕪𝕠𝕟𝕖. ( boi was I wrong) . It doesn’t feel normal, all day I have to either take classes, do assignments or study and yesss (of course, staring at the walls) .I am not that person whose mobile rings every second because of all the notifications coming from their social media accounts. I don’t have all of this , all I do on social media is my blog on WordPress and the other blog on Facebook. ᴰᵒ ᴵ ᶠᵉᵉˡ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ⁱᵗ? yes I do, because it feels weird to live like this). It feels different. I don’t know how long will this last. But then again, it is probably my fault. I was always an introvert and I’ll probably be like that for the x years of my life.