But that moon…

Yesterday, the ambience on my roof top somewhat made me more comfortable. Usually I don’t like darkness because it reminds me of my past miseries, but to me it felt like ‘appealing’ is what I would say. Mostly at night I walk on my roof top , wondering about things and sort of refreshing myself and searching for some motivation. Sometimes I like to lie on the bare floor and gaze at the sky. Yesterday night was the time where I lied down and my eyes were adjusted on the glimmering moon. There were  strong winds, no sign of street lamps and dark clouds but I felt happy. Although when it it became late and I heard croaking sounds of birds, I went downstairs. As I look back, that moment felt really real to me. I liked the combination of silence with darkness , it makes me think about issues related to life and it gives me this slight sense of acceptance that life will be like this day (where darkness prevails ) sometimes and I have to accept all the bad things too. That sky always reminds me of the past, it just makes me feel connected with the people I lost. People who have left this world or people who by some means didn’t stayed with me for a long time. The glimmering moon that I was seeing, is the moon that probably else was seeing too, even both of us  are far apart and in different places but it makes me feel like that I am still connected. Even when I am not talking to the people who were once a major part of my life, I look out for that moon or the stars because they tell me that I am not that far apart. That sky is just imperfectly perfect. Even when it is a clear sky, or when there is a crescent moon, sometimes less stars but they are always magical to look at. 

This quarantine made me more nostalgic than ever. Some days I found myself crying because nothing made any sense or there was strong desire of meeting my old friends , it made me guilty of spending time with them when I was really close. As they say, that people just go away and that is just LIFE. I can’t change the natural phenomenon because it is difficult to take things in control which really aren’t. Most of the time we waste our time fighting for something that isn’t in our control. 

To some extent , my opinion have changed as, over the years I learnt to accept things that were not even good for me or they left me with pain and hurt me but now I try to embrace darkness,this is why if you see me , you will find me up on the roof top lying on the floor and being grateful for that each second.